Amy Hutchison

I went to the library Tuesday to crunch and recrunch my budget. It was hair-pulling, frustrating, and about gave me a heart attack.

Then I realized I left my roommate's rent out of it, and I was really relieved.

Until she e-mailed me letting me know she is moving out at the end of the year. Crap.

I guess I must've known it was coming. I really don't want to get another one. I don't live with other people well, and I figured that one out the hard way (or the easy way?) But, it left me with a lot of decisions to make, which has stressed me out to the max.

Do I want to get a second job? Yeah, that's a negatory. Other than the fact that I would love (let's reemphasize the "love" in this) to start second shooting at weddings ASAP, there really isn't much else that I'm remotely interested in doing. I mean, for me to have a second job, it'll need to be something that I enjoy on top of helping supplement the bills. I enjoy bartending, I really do, but the past couple of weddings that I've worked at, I spent more time in awe over the 40D's on the dance floor than the guy trying to get a vodka/tonic.

OK, so let's just make a little side note. My goal in life is not to be an award winning, awe inspiring photographer. At least not right now. But with my experience in wedding planning, how can you not want to capture all of those details that the wedding planner worked hard to put together? Seriously.

So, anyway, I have a few decisions to make about my finances. It's a matter of knowing what's best for me. I know what a financial planner will tell me, but knowing myself, I'm trying to make the best decisions based on what I can actually execute. And the thing is, I feel so guilty because I know I should leave it fully up to God. But panic attacks still ensue...