My last truly private post...

I checked my stat counter yesterday. Apparently people are actually reading this thing. I guess I shouldn't find that very shocking since I do have this blog posted a couple of places, but apparently I'm linked on other people's blogs, and when I post on others' blogs people are coming to check out mine when they see my comments, etc... Not to mention, scroll back a couple of days ago, and my favorite photographer, based out of Jacksonville, commented on my blog. Seriously, that made my day. And also scared me a little, because it made me realize that you never know who's reading!

So, I'm going to try and start transforming this blog into what it originally was meant to be... a document of my growth (or lack thereof, at times) in photography. PS-If you are a photographer reading this, go to my first post. It might just crack you up to see that I actually have come a long way in just a few months.

But since I'm only up to 15 readers, I figured I would put one last private post up here. Not that I won't be personal at times, but not this personal.

I typed up the entire story, and realized it probably isn't the best idea to put eeeverything up here.

I've had to separate myself lately from one of my best guy friends, which has been very difficult. There was never a big secret of my feelings for him last winter, so what has now happened is that any time he and I are together, people give us funny looks.

So, here's the truth. Sometimes I want to ring his neck for not seeing why we would be good together. Sometimes he frustrates me because he's not always there for me the way I wish he would be. But mainly, I moved on back in April, and it frustrates me that people don't understand this.

Because I have had feelings for someone else for a long time. Because every time that this guy and I get close enough to dating, someone brings up the sensitive topic of the best friend that I'm trying to separate myself from. And even if I end up not dating this other guy, I want whoever I DO end up dating to have a fighting chance. And let's face it, competing with a published photographer and author who has quit his full-time job to do God's work as a missionary can be kind of intimidating for a guy. Particularly when this guy still eats off my plate. Just sayin...

Mostly, though, it angers me that I let other people's opinions into my head too much. There are still people who think that he and I are going to end up together. And so I start to think, "OK, maybe they're right... maybe I'm not seeing something they are, and we are going to end up together..." But then I spend time with him, and I remember the many reasons why we never will be. He will have to change major things to be with me. And I will have to change major things to be with him. And in the end, both of us love those things about ourselves, so we aren't going to change.

I just hope people will start to respect our wishes.

It has come to my attention that my readership doubled this week. That's kind of put a lot of pressure on me to actually do something worth reading. It also has made me realize that I can't get as personal any more. That makes me sad a little. But for all 15 of my readers, I will post a special blog after this one. :-)

There is someone in CPMG who is one of those photographers that will whip you around, pull you, sit you exactly where she wants you to be, and takes the picture. In turn, she gets amazing photographs. I mean, Amazing.

I absolutely hate when people do this to me, so I try not to do that when I'm taking pictures. I try to be stealth, sit on the sidelines, and wait on the action to happen.

I think this is why my interest is in wedding and documentary photography. When I was in Africa, I enjoyed more than anything to sit and watch the kids reactions to us and vice versa. People would ask me if anyone was taking pictures of me, and once I returned, I found out they really hadn't. Which, honestly, is absolutely fine since I was make-upless and hair dryerless for 10 days.

But it has also come to my attention that if I do get to the point where I can really do wedding photography... like, really do it, not just be the tag-along second shooter like I'm striving to be now... I will actually have to pose people. The thought makes me throw up in my mouth a little.

I think that's why I love the work that Scarlett Lillian and Cheyenne Schultz do. No posey, "OK, now we're going to line up the bride's family. OK, now the groom's family." But still, this also creates its own challenges. What if someone ends up in a dark spot? What if someone moves? How do you get a bridal party of 15 to all look good simultaneously without saying, "OK, now, smile big!"

A friend of mine and I have both decided that when we get married, we will pick the photographer based on who can make us look good. I think I just want to line all of the photographers up and say, "OK, you have one shot, make me look hot. Whoever does, you're hired."

I promise I work, and here's proof...

A lot of people mock me for my usage and expertise in Facebook. The truth is, I'm slightly obsessed, and probably should give it up for New Year's. Except that I wouldn't have a life without it. It has become my main form of communication. I hate talking on the phone, my cell is a pain in the butt to text on, and I only e-mail those annoying people who refuse to get on facebook, such as a certain Young Adult pastor at a certain Carmel Baptist who shall go unnamed...

Anyway, people rag on me a lot about this, so a couple of weeks ago, I took a picture of a classic Amy workday, just to prove that I really do use Facebook for work:

But yesterday, sadly my computer and I were separated from each other for a half a day. There were no status updates, no checking in on friends, no harassing wall posts. I had to work away from my desk all morning. I got back to my desk in time for a quick Cupid Shuffle with Karen, and then kept going. We had an event last night for our golf sponsors, which was way more fun than it should've been. I got to play photographer for a while, and I think (think!) that I'm actually improving, which is way exciting.

(Yes, I realize they are napkins, but the other pictures that came out well were of people that might not want their faces on my blog. Sorry, folks!)

I told a photographer the other day that I get frustrated b/c I'm at the point where I can tell what makes a picture good and what makes it bad, but actually executing it in the moment is tough. A lot of my pictures were out of focus last night, and I realized the focus setting was wrong and I had switched the focus point to the right side of the frame early on in the night and had forgotten to switch it back. I then wanted to throw my camera across the room.

Anyway, last night I get home, and about 3 glasses of wine into it, I get a call from Jason, the President of Guys with Ties. Jason and I met a couple of weeks ago through CharlotteONE:, and he had presented Bethlehem Center to the committee for consideration as the beneficiary for their Halloween party for this year. My ex-boyfriend and several friends of mine had gone to this 2 years ago, when they were first getting started, and we had so much fun. I was very excited that even though this meant missing my friend Karen's Halloween party (serious bummer), it meant getting involved with a great event with a great group of guys for a great cause (can I say "great" one more time??).

Now, let me tell you that there have been times when I have really busted my butt to make one dollar at the Bethlehem Center, and there have been other times when things have just kind of fallen into place. And when those times that things have fallen come, I have to put the credit on God.

After talking his Jason's ear off about how funny it was that my work cell rang at 9 o'clock and it wasn't who I thought it was (seriously, people, 3 glasses of wine!), he gave me the good news. They picked us this year!

For all of you who don't have plans, yet, and even those of you who do, come out to Cans on Halloween. $10 cover, all proceeds benefitting the Bethlehem Center. :-)

Random ramblings...

I couldn't pick just one thing to talk about today, so I will talk about all of them.

First of all, it has come to my attention that I'm poor. It also has come to my attention that I have gone out to eat every day this week, so that is perhaps the reason I am poor. It will be ramen or scrambled eggs for the rest of the week, my friends.

Secondly, I picked up a third and fourth job, possibly. I'm trying to see how many jobs I can collect that might or might not give me a paycheck at the end of the week.

Some of you might already know, I am a regular blog stalker of an amazing photographer, Scarlett Lillian. Today her post made me so excited. It was about how sometimes you meet a guy (or girl, technically) that you just have that instant connection with. I keep being reminded of that connection, lately.

This week has been a string of insults, and it's starting to wear on me a little. Through a friend, I met a group of people a while back. Since I'm not close to any of them, I sat back and observed a little. The genuine love and concern they have for each other amazes me. I remember in high school being asked to stay in the hotel room with the "popular" girls for a chorus trip. They were so sweet and nice, but I noticed they had the same problems that my group of friends had. Anyway, not that I'm saying this particular group does, but just hoping I don't have "grass is greener" syndrome. Still, I hope that my friends are all supporting each other the way this group is.

I'm taking a week off in a couple of weeks. I'm so excited, since my vacation this year wasn't really a vacation (when I went to Africa). I'm going to the beach with my family at the end of the week, but for the first few days I'll be in Charlotte doing what I want, which mainly means making small repairs on the house (the hardwood replacement is still on hold until the new year, unfortunately). But I'm also looking forward to doing some fun times photo shoots. There are a couple of series that I want to do that I'm pretty excited I'll have time to finish. I know, I'm a nerd.

I guess that completes everything. Oh, and I'm working from home for the rest of the night. Trying to get crap done that has taken way longer than I expected it to. :-P

Current Bethlehem Center Needs

I never, never, ever do this, but now that my blog has gotten up to a big 7 readers, here we go:

1-Pumpkins and volunteers needed for Halloween Pumpkin Carving Party. We need approximately 150 pumpkins by October 29th for each of our kids to carve at this party. We also need volunteer supervision from 2:00-5:30 on October 30th. Volunteers MUST be background checked for this opportunity!
2-Santa suit for December 6th
3-Volunteers for the 2:30-5:00 shift of the golf tournament this Monday.
4-Money. Whether it's a $5 donation or a $5,000 donation, every bit helps the center out.

For more information about anything above, call me at 704-371-7404 or e-mail me at ahutchison@bethlehemcenter.org.

Losing Friends...

Besides people from high school, I have two friends who have known me for 11 years. They met me when I was 15 at a church camp. We have seen each other through college, relationships, ended relationships, marriage, and kids. We have grown from the kind of relationship you have between brother/sister, to the kind of relationship you have with a friend you've known and seen through just about everything. We aren't the closest we've ever been, but we still catch up every once in a while.

But in that same 11 year time frame, I have lost a lot of friends as well. I have lost them BECAUSE of college, relationships, ended relationships, marriage, and kids.

Recently, I was talking to a friend about a friendship that I might have to lose for a while so that we can regain a healthy one. And through reflecting on it, I have realized that this is the best way to go about things. And I realized that all of these friendships that I've lost over the years have had this same moment. This moment of me trying to make something work that doesn't. A friendship is still a relationship, and sometimes it's just as hard as or harder than a dating relationship to walk away from.

Random quotes from the Hutch

I totally didn't want to write an entire blog about this, so I had to title the blog that I wanted to write so that this would fit in... anyhoo...

Sitting at dinner the other night, I had a random Amy quote. It went something like this... "I told God that if He didn't let me date a great guy soon, I was going to start sleeping around. He hasn't responded yet. Probably because God doesn't like to be threatened. But maybe partially because He knows I'm bluffing."

So, this leads me to my next quote. A few days ago, my friend Arran and I were sitting discussing some life stuff going on. I have never made it a secret that I want to go back and get my masters. People ask me all the time why, and I really have no good reason, other than I want a higher ed degree on my resume', and I feel as if the bachelors is becoming the new high school diploma, so I want to make sure I'm prepared.

So, Arran and I are sitting and talking, and the conversation goes something like this:

"If I get fired, I'm going to become a missionary."-Me

"What kind of missions would you do?"-AK

"I dunno, I just would take that as a sign I should go into missions."-Me

"WHAT???"

Yeah, it made no sense at all. There was some more, including the discussion about the MBA. "Why do you want to get an MBA?"

"I dunno."

But a couple of weeks ago, there was another discussion that started randomly and actually turned into a great idea. As we were standing around, we had an event planner/fundraiser, a musician, and a graphic designer, all three of whom are close friends with a photographer. Hmm. What to do? We'll start a business!

I pitched my idea, which was a fantabulous one but if I told you I'd have to kill you. Mainly because parts of it might actually go through.

The one part that I will tell you is this. I've decided what I want to do for fun with the photography skills I'm (slowly!) picking up. I want to be an "official" event photographer for nonprofits. I would come out, shoot pictures for free (at least, in the beginning), publish a website of them, and event attendees could purchase pictures (with a percentage going to the nonprofit) and then give the rights over to the nonprofit to use for marketing materials.

So, if you know anyone who's interested....