'Cause I'm Leeeaaaving On A Jet Plane

I've been trying to wait until Sunday, as I'm sitting in the Charlotte-Douglass or in the Detroit Airport waiting on my flight, but I know that with as crazy as things have been over the past month, there's no way possible I can make it that long.

Jenn called today, and I didn't realize how far behind people really are in things going on. I guess I owe you all a pretty big apology for that, so, yeah, uh, sorry.

First off, I know it's really crazy to compare 2 weeks with 2 months, but I understand now a little more why Dave separates himself from the crowds before trips. Mine hasn't been because I'll be in a secluded area in Darfur, but because as I have been trying to pull everything together for the trip, I just haven't had time or even energy to keep up with everybody or everything. It's not that I'm trying to push people away, but that I just am not making an attempt to pull people in.

Secondly, thank you so much to everyone who has supported me, both emotionally and financially, for the trip. I feel like this has dragged on forever, so if it feels that way to you as well, I apologize profusely.

I can speak a bajillion times to the details of this trip. It has been insane. From making sure shots were timed just right to dinners to meetings, I have been so concentrated on getting prepared physically that I don't feel like I'm even remotely prepared emotionally. People keep asking me if I'm excited, and I can honestly say that I don't think it will truly sink in until I'm actually on the plane. For the first time Sunday, as we were standing on stage as a team (and sitting through 4 hours of church...) it started sinking in that this is actually going to happen. Wait. It's not here, yet.

People keep asking me what happened with my dog. Sorry for those that have already heard this, but the short story is that she had been pretty steadily declining in health over the past year. With the trip coming up, I just didn't feel comfortable leaving her with anyone who didn't have a 150% love for dogs. This led to questioning whether it was fair to leave her with anyone, particularly since in my heart I felt like this person would probably have to make the decision with my dad to put her down. So, after a long discussion and a lot of tears, we made the decision to go ahead and do it. In terms of how I'm doing, I'm honestly trying not to think about it, but there definitely is a different feel around the house right now. Molly and I are definitely missing something. Keep me away from puppy ads, I might be tempted to get another Border.

Robbye is graciously going to keep Molly, my Jack Russell. I'm hoping she will be able to see the sweet side of Molly, not just the hyperness that was her this weekend when they met.

So, here's the plan for the next week. Friday night my family is coming up for the going away dinner our team is having at the chuch. I was put in charge of it, so of course there will be a theme (something about coming together from different areas for one mission... still working on it). We are going to early service together on Sunday then taking a bus up to the airport. If someone wants to get my car from the church and park it safely at their house, I would appreciate it, but it's not necessary. We will be flying through Detroit and Amsterdam (note: Amsterdam is NOT a country, but it IS in Holland AND the Netherlands). We will be returning on the 6th (Dave, sometime you need to train me on the tricks of figuring out time changes) via a 24-hour layover in Amsterdam. Our flight gets in around 10PM Wednesday night.

Yes, there will be lots of pictures (3 x 5 glossy's for Matt). I will attempt to blog, because it's fun, but I'm not sure what the computer situation will be. I also have no idea what the phone situation will be, either, only that there is some way to transfer sim cards or something while in Europe, so if someone has tips, let me know (*cough* like people who used their Verizon blackberries in the mountains of Kenya *cough*).

All right, this has now officially become way too long for a 10-day trip. Just wanted to update y'all all at once. :-)

The website for the project: www.kenyaorphanageproject.org

Winthrop Photowalk w/Charlotte Photography Meetup

Yesterday I got the pleasure of doing a photowalk with about 20 Charlotte-area photographers (ranging from very novice... cough... me... to semi-professional and professional). Since I've been bugging Dave and Mike regularly for advice, I figured it was about time to go off and find others.

Andy, one of the leaders of the group, teaching three of the other girls. This would be my "four" except the composition isn't so hot.

The walk started out at Byrnes Auditorium, which was very trippy since that's where I first studied music, and ended at Rutledge, which was even trippier since that's where I took a photography class when I was 13. I tried to recreate the first picture I took, but unfortunately the site was covered in dog poop and I didn't really feel like torturing anyone that way.

Afterwards, we headed out to Carlos' Cafe, where I resisted the urge to whip out the camera and take pictures, but it was definitely a picture-worthy place. Even more ironic considering not a single person at the table would have judged. For the record, we definitely need to go back... the $14 pitcher of sangria had at least 20 glasses worth in it... I tried to contribute to the cause of depleting it, but finally after about 2 hours of working on it, defeat was admitted.

Here are a few of my shots from the day. You can search for tag CMPG0708Winthrop on Flickr to see what others got.

Taking Comfort in Saying Goodbye

Yesterday, I calmly walked into the PetSmart. My dogs, that are complete chow hounds, had run out of food again, conveniently this week. I walked back to the dog food section, picked up a small bag of food, and paused. Should I go ahead and get the big bag, anyway? I mean, it is 6 cents cheaper per unit. No. It's $10 more. I'll stick with the little one for now.

I made it all of the way up to the counter, and then glanced up and saw a picture of a border collie puppy on the wall. Tears started welling in my eyes. OK, you can do this. A couple of deep breaths, think about Molly, and you'll get through it.

I barely made it through swiping my cards and with a shaky voice answered with a quick "no" whatever the cashier had just asked. Then, ran outside to burst into tears alone.

I came downstairs after my shower on Tuesday morning, and Maggie had limped up to me. Smiling, like she always does, but still I just knew it was time. The dog can barely walk, and her only joy anymore is in seeing me, which she gets over in about 5 minutes and returns to her regular position, lying down and panting. A lot. Probably from pain.

4 years ago, when I took Maggie, I joked that I was "hospice" for her. She was pretty healthy at the time, starting to go blind and had a non-cancerous cyst, but pretty healthy otherwise. Still, we figured she would only last a few months without her brother. So, I was to take her, with a DNR order. Take the dog, but do not take extraordinary means to prolong her life. In other words, as long as she was happy, keep her safe and comfy, but as soon as the first thing happens that exceeds a couple hundred dollars, let her go.

And so now, as the cyst has completely firmed and spread so she can no longer walk, I have been trying to hide her condition from my dad. He's seen her limping a little bit, but hasn't seen her in the condition she's in, a three-legged dog.

But now, as I'm heading out to Africa, I knew I was going to have to turn her over into someone else's care. Whether it was a doctor or a friend, I could picture myself giving instructions, "Yeah, she doesn't ever go anywhere because she can't. It's a ton of struggle for her, too. Oh, and she might get diarrhea or throw up. That happens a lot. Don't worry, it just passes." Yeah. OK. That makes sense.

Still, I knew that if I were here, I could keep her alive. I can keep her alive as long as I want, and she'll just go naturally in her sleep. It'll be great. No problemo.

But then today, I found this article:
http://www.slate.com/id/2090327/

It described perfectly what I was going through, and said it was time.

I spent time yesterday with Maggie, taking final pictures of her. We walked around the block (really, I walked and sort of dragged her). And with every step, there was the resounding voice of, "It's time, it's time, it's time..."

Still, I just feel so guilty...

Why You Should Do It.

Do it for me.

Do it for your friend that asked you.

Do it for the fun you'll have.

But most of all...

Do it for them:

Do it because, despite all our best efforts, we still need a bus so they can go on field trips.

Do it because they need you as a role model.

Do it because it will help them see the bigger picture.

Do it so we can afford books that AREN'T leftover from when we opened in 1940.

Do it so we can bring our programs to all corners of the city.

Do it so kids can experience a FREE afterschool program.

Do it so kids who normally wouldn't can continue to experience places like Brazil and New York.

And if you do it. We will all get together on September 6th to...

Dance

Sing

AND HAVE FUN!

The 2008 Carolina Challenge

www.bethlehemcenter.org/challenge.htm

Just a fun blog

In the next couple of days, I'm going to have a really sad blog on here, so I figure I need to post a really funny blog on here.

As you all know, I will be heading to Africa in 11 days (woo hoo). We will be flying through Amsterdam. Here was a recent conversation that happened about Amsterdam.

"Where is Amsterdam?"-Me
"I think it's in Holland. I remember seeing pictures of Tulips when I've seen pictures of Amsterdam."-Jill
"And Holland's in the Netherlands, right?"
"No, it's just in Holland."
"No, the Netherlands is that region with the three finger-looking things. And those three fingers are countries. Holland, Sweden, and one other, I forget..." (If you know anything about geography, this is where you get to laugh at me)
"Oh... Yeah, I remember the three finger-looking things. But Netherlands is a country. And Amsterdam is in Holland. I'm pretty sure. I saw tulips. Tulips are known in Holland."-Jill (Picture her making hand motions in the shape of three fingers)
"Hmm... Well, is Amsterdam a country?"
"No! It's a city! That's why you're flying into it. Airports are named for the city, not the country."

(I think you get the point.)

Just for the record, Jill and I were both educated in South Carolina, specifically in the Rock Hill School District 3.

By the way. Netherlands ARE NOT the three finger-looking things, but it is a country. HOLLAND is a province in the country of Netherlands. And Amsterdam is a city in the province of North Holland.

Who thought of naming a country "The Netherlands." I mean, that sounds like a region to me!

Church Visits

Many of you know, for the past two weeks I have gone to several different services. I have a lot of friends at a lot of different churches, and there were a few that I hadn't tried out, yet, so I wanted to take some time to try some out.

What I found is that people get very very defensive of their churches, or other peoples' churches, for that matter. And not always for good reasons. Whenever I meet someone, I try to evaluate what they're looking for. Do you want contemporary or traditional? Why are you looking? What exactly are you looking for? Where do you live?

Then, I try to pair them up with a church (or several churches) near where they live.

So, after evaluating several different churches, I am going to tell you exactly when NOT to go to these churches, starting with my own, Good Shepherd:

• Good Shepherd (regular service, Sunday mornings): Do NOT go to this church if you aren't looking to go further in your walk. This church practices a philosophy to find one ministry within the church to feed you, one in which you can serve. Also, do NOT go to this church if you DON'T want a relationship with the people you are going to church with. This church offers so many ministries, small groups, and outreach opportunities, you are bound to meet new people within the church, and bond tightly with them. Do NOT go to this church if you don't want to learn more about the Bible. There is an in-house "seminary" where you take any where from the basics of the Bible A to Z to going further in the books of Revelation and Romans.
• Good Shepherd (Thrive, Saturday nights): Do NOT go to this service if you don't want to spend time with God. There is plenty of time and chance to both "rock out" and spend time really deep in prayer. Prayer stations are set along the wall where staff will come pray with you (or, you can give them the stiff arm like I always do!)
• Steele Creek Church: Do NOT go to this service if you hate other cultures. They put a huge emphasis on both overseas ministries (remember this is the church that "Voices of Sudan" came out of, but there are also way more than a dozen missionaries within that church), but also in ministering specifically to different cultures. They have several on-staff ministers for different cultures specifically. Do NOT go to this church if you do not want to get to know other people on an intimate level. Their homegroup style means that you will be pulled in, loved on, and have an immediate family.
• Arborvitae, Harrison United Methodist Church (Sat. night service): Do NOT go to this service if you are perfect. During the service, you have an opportunity to share your struggles within the community and realize that there are people other than you who have many of the same struggles. Do NOT go to this service if you don't want to spend more time with God. This emerging church is focussed on putting into practice what they preach, in lives upward and outward.
• Elevation Church: Do NOT go to this church if you don't want to rock out. Do NOT go to this church if you don't want to see people on fire for the Lord.
• Forest Hill Church: Do NOT go to this church if you don't want to do a lot of the above. This church not only rocks out (although, they let me on their praise team so obviously they don't have very high standards... just kidding), but makes honest attempts to connect people. The church is huge so you will have to take a little bit of initiative, but if you do, you will definitely be pleased with their LifeGroup philosophy, where groups come together for Bible Study and also do service projects within.

If you haven't figured this out, this is reversse psychology. ;-) I didn't write about all of the Methodist Churches in Charlotte I've been to, but I'll add those in later. :-)

My best critique

I posted the raw images (not to be confused with RAW images... just the unedited) from Saturday's Thrive performance on a photography site to be critiqued. Right now, as hard as it is for me to take, I like for people to critique.

Anyway, I got this critique on the site, and I thought it was pretty great. For the first time, it wasn't about f-stops or ISO's, it was about how to really shoot.

"... The fact that it was a Christian band was your goal. Highlight their clothing, the emotion of the singer, and even the crowd enjoy the praise and worship. That would have been my mission. You can do it. You understand exposure, atleast enough to pull this off. (just don't know if you know much about studio work or not.. that's all) Make sure to go in looking for a common thread, and not a hard drive full of pictures. You pics are good, but I'm sure you have much more in you to convey through your camera. Thinking about the sincerity of the people singing for God. Think about the passion they have. Not doing it for the money or the fame but to praise and worship. I'm writing a small essay, but this is what you want to think about the next go around. Don't sweat pixel peeping..(people do entirely too much of that.. I personally don't want to see another 100% crop!!! please), but what's your job. I had a great boss that would tell me that I didn't have anything to shoot, then don't shoot it. What are you trying to say with your camera? How are you using the elements involved to do that? What are the small details that will make people say "I never thought of that"? Composition and camera settings will be second nature after a while and your doing good job at it now."

Birth Order

As a middle child, things always look a little different. There have been many studies about birth order in life, but I haven't read any of them. So here's my take on things. Being a middle child means that you have to find your way to be special. The oldest is the oldest and the leader. They were around before anyone else, so they got the "alone time" with the parents (even though, in our case, it was only 3 years). The youngest is the last chance. They get the parents holding on to every memory. Graduation will be the final graduation, the wedding will be the final wedding (hopefully!), so they get that aspect of it.

From what I can tell (since my extensive research includes myself and one other friend), being the middle child means that you are extremely independent, but you also are constantly wanting attention and force your way into getting it.

But here's the thing that sticks out in my mind about growing up a middle child. I remember never picking the restaurant. Even when the whole, "It's Amy's turn" came up, I was always very tentative about it. I usually let Kelly and Megan decide, and hoped it would be something I could stand.

I remember this driving my college boyfriend nuts, because I did the same thing with him. I told him that it was because I would rather myself be miserable with the decision, because that was something I could control, rather than making someone else unhappy.

It seems as if I have carried this over into adulthood. In a lot of things I do, I get walked on because I'm afraid of making someone else unhappy. At a cookout, I calculate out carefully how much food or beverage I will eat and multiply it by three to cover others. I never take charge and plan events in case someone else doesn't want to do it. And decisions in general have become increasingly hard.

But lately, it's been more detrimental to my dating life than anywhere else. I'll meet a great guy, and immediately try to think of people for him to date, friends of mine who are single. I have dated a couple of guys that I didn't see things developing with, only to stick with it because they seemed more sure than me (yeah, ask me how that worked...), and most of all, I will step back when a friend says they're interested, because I would rather myself be miserable than for her to be.

Now, let me go ahead and put in a disclaimer. Many of you already know that my plan since about May has been to not date until I get back from Africa. This wasn't because I thought that going on a 10-day trip with a boyfriend back home would be hard, but because it put a finite timeline on getting everything ready and healed in my heart before I could move forward. I've already ignored that once which meant failure, so I won't ignore it again.

But I can still look back and see my mistakes. I can still see where I let others opinions get to my head, and stopped leading with my heart.

The definition of insanity is this... one who keeps doing the same thing expecting different results.

Photoshopping Fun

Kind of cool actions. I'm not the biggest fan of these, but it was fun to play. :-)

I am NOT a photographer

Saturday night, after my hands had been itching all night, I finally couldn't stand it anymore. I remember sitting beside my friend Mike one night when he kept talking about how his hands were itching for a camera, and I thought he was insane. I now understand what he was feeling. I reached under the table, grabbed the camera, and began to shoot.






Someone came up to me and was checking out the camera. They asked if I had been hired to shoot the party. I couldn't help but crack up. (Although, I will confess now that it took every bit of restraint to not rent a flash)


Some of my favorite people are photographers. Mike Comer, Audrey Mann, and David Johnson to name a few. Not to mention the fact that I am a professional blog stalker of one Cheyenne Schultz and Scarlett Lillian (be forewarned... these two ladies' sites are a window drug to photography).



But me? I am not a photographer. Just a poser.



A couple of years ago, I was the marketing director for River Hills Country Club in Lake Wylie. We were on a shoestring budget, so my love of great graphic design and photography got put on the back burner, and I had to figure out a way to get around it. So, I have a great eye, right? I'll be able to do it.

So, I downloaded Adobe Illustrator, sat down with my idea for a brochure, and started working.

The only thing was, I had never used Illustrator.

The guy that I was dating at the time was a graphic designer, so I called him up. "Ok, what are you trying to do?" he asked. I explained. "Ok, find the pen tool." "The WHAT?" Big heavy sigh from him. "Amy..."

Here I am again, some of my favorite people photographers. They've been wonderful. David stole my camera one night to show me low lighting techniques (which ended with "your lens is crap" and "just use the flash and deal with it"), Mike has put up with my endless shooting at parties, usually followed with, "Miiiike, how do I...???" Becky has given me shopping tips which led me to Biggs Camera (wonderful, nice people!)

So, here's my public "thank you" to all the professional and semi-professional photographers who have put up with me. And here's to a future filled with me being a poser...

Thrive Band 2008

A couple of nights ago, I decided to get some high-light practice in at the GSUMC Thrive concert in Rivergate. While I can see room for improvement (a little blurriness, some of the composition slightly off), I'm pretty pleased with the results.

Fireworks...

I realized I never posted about my first fireworks experience.

So, Thursday, I sat down and read up on shooting fireworks. I did everything it said. MV-Shutter speed-2, aperture-8, turn flash off, bring tripod, etc...

Well, then it came time for fireworks, and I happened to have a professional photographer sitting next to me. Funny how that happens in Amy world. So, after I had spent all day researching the "to do", he took the camera and made his own adjustments. And of course those came out a thousand times better. Here was our best one from that night:



The next night, I tried it again. I took out my camera and tripod, and realized that I had absolutely no idea how to work the tripod:



If you look closely, you can see Mike staring in the distance on my left hand side. I think he was a little sick of trying to help me. ;-)

Here was my best shot from that night:

Signs that you have become an adult

So, I was talking to someone at the pool today, and all of the sudden I felt old. Here are signs that you are now officially an adult:

• You realize that having a mortgage isn't scary, it's a way of life
• You feel the air conditioner and think, "I wonder how much this is costing me right now?"
• The new retail chain going up in your neighborhood isn't exciting because it's fun to shop there, but because you know it will make the value of your house go up
• You start calculating in your head the earliest it will be before you have kids, and save accordingly
• Your conversations with your best friend turn from "That guy is so cute" or "That party was so awesome" to "I did ____ at work" or "I saved this much money by..."
• "Parties" on Tuesday, Wednesday, and Thursday are now "Networking opportunities"
• An hour and a half drive is considered close by
• "Boys suck" cakes are replaced in number by wedding registries (only funny to the Delta Gamma girls of South Tower '03)